Friday, 20 September 2013

[Guide] DotD Drinking Game

RIGHT EVERYBODY! ITS A NEW DAY! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!? ITS A NEW DAY TO GET ABSOLUTELY DRUNK! (I just came back to uni, so I'm pretty pumped.. about getting drunk)

Few bits of housekeeping before we start
 - Revan had a sex change and is now recovering well, so please send your prayers.
 - If you're on the Kong platform, we have an immortal called "ILoveLena" (I beat him in a bet) (He's in Dotd Anonymous so just do a guild search)
 - We still hate you all.
 - The DotDStuff blog now really love and respect the 5th Planet Games Devs because they are all really cool! (Dude... ) (Shut up Revan.)

Without further waiting, I give you the drinking rules! If you have any, comment below or find me in Kong chat and I'll add them! Drink can either be a sip, or measured in fingers, depending on what you're drinking and how brave/foolish/idiotic you are.

1. Drink every time you proc over MS.
2. Down your drink if you hit over 1B.
3. Down the rest of your drink and another if you hit over 2B.
4. Drink every time you get a perception drop.
5. Drink every random encounter.
6. Drink whenever you see a tard-magic on a raid.
7. Drink every time you loot 2 raids.
8. Down you drink every time one of your bars are empty.
9. Drink whenever you need to refresh the game.
10. Drink every time someone sends you a serp.
11. Drink every time you give someone a serp.
12. Drink every time you switch gear/legion.
13. Drink every time you import (Sorry our fans on FB!) (FB'ers can't read anyway)
14. Drink every time a guild raid goes down. (Don't forget to farm Cels you BSI-tards)
15. Drink twice whenever you hit a medium raid.
16. Drink three times whenever you hit a small raid.
17. Drink four times if you miss hitting a small/medium raid.
18. Drink every time you experience lag.
19. Drink every time a dev says something.

Happy Drinking everyone!

- FUCK YOU ALL! (He means Revan, he's just like this when drunk)

Monday, 26 August 2013

[Review] The Guild

Now, people always say that you should write about things you are familiar with, but Revan and I disagree wholeheartedly because we are too lazy to know anything. So therefore we have decided to write a review on the guild crap!

Please note, I am actually going to try and watch this whole web series (I beat you in a cock fight! You promised you would) Just because I love you guys, no matter how many precious IQ points I lose. 

Right, first thing is first, we apologise for the fact we haven't posted anything new in recent days, but really, it's your guys fault, you haven't given us any ideas to write about! So seriously, message me and Revan (either on Kong or in game) and give us some ideas, we will literally write about anything and post it on the raid chats to annoy the fuck out of people.

In this review, we will include a tl;dw (Too long, didn't watch) version as well as what we thought of it (Its shit)

Just to give you guys a quick overview of the characters

Codex - She's a shy person with no gaming life and no real friends (Like Mesh, but without the boobs) 

Zaboo - Creepy Indian guy who wants to have sex with the ginger one (Like Mesh but without... nope its Mesh)

Vork - Middle aged balding guy who is useless. (Like Mesh but without the balding or middle-aged part)

Clara - Dumb woman who can't look after her kids properly (Fuck off Revan..)

Tinkerballa - Crazy manipulative woman who's hot.(Like Mesh's ex, but without being hot.) (...Good point)

Bladezz - High school kid who makes bad sexual jokes and lives in  his mum's garage. (A bit...(NO FUCK OFF REVAN! THIS GUY IS YOU! 100% YOU, YOU ASSHOLE) Dude... chill) 

Wait, let me try this. I've always had a knack for reviewing stuff. 

So basically, Mesh(Codex) is a socially awkward girl, who's a hardcore gamer, and part of the self-titled "Knights of Good", an MMORPG raiding guild that's supposed to be top notch. One day, she's visited by Mesh(Zaboo), who's like the most accurate representation of how Indian people function on daily basis. So as this transpires, they  indulge in a sitcom-esque adventures that lead no where, enforce all stereotypes against gamers and nerds alike, fat people, Indians, balding old guys, and teenagers everywhere. Basically, It's not a good show. Also there's Wil Wheaton. For those of you who don't know who Wesley Crusher is, you've been blessed by this tremendous gift of coincidence, and I urge you to cherish it. Now for you that actually think that the show is clever and funny - Really? Really? Have you even considered having a sense of humor? What? You feel related to the characters because you used to be HC WOW player? Big fucking deal. Who hasn't been? I'm sick and tired of makeshift celebrities like Felicia Day, the talk of alleged "nerd cred" and vanity projects that promote the worst of the gaming community and enforce the aforementioned stereotypes that just drag said community even further down in the eyes of everyone. And now you're thinking - "Why the fuck should I care? I'm a gamer. I don't care what mainstream people think." Well then, to that I say - why does it matter if I say "nigger" all the time? or "fuck"? (You get the gist, don't get me listing all the words I use on daily basis).

Well I guess its my turn to do the review, I'll do it season by season for all you guys. ;)

Season 1 - Shit

Season 2 - Repulsive

Season 3 - Crap

Season 4 - Surprisingly good (Nah, I'm kidding, its shitty)

Season 5 - Worthless

Season 6 - Absolute shit.

My favourite part of all the seasons has to be the end credits of season 6, because then you realise that it's finally over, but a small part of you is sad that you've wasted your life (And IQ) watching this.

As you can see, Me and Revan live in hope.

Thank you for reading, now fuck off.

Still here? Fine, I guess we can give you one last thing.

We've seen some pretty horrible things up on the internet, but this is definitely one of the worst.

So now now you'd ask - Revan and Mesh, you handsome cunning devils, what is a good thing to watch then? Well my friend, now that we got you actually use your brain - why don't you try this one for size?
There, have fun. You're welcome.


(Dude, why the fuck is your name on top?) (We've been through this you, I'm better than you.) 

Tuesday, 16 July 2013


This is a list of people with starters and which starters they have. This is because as raids get bigger and bigger, starters will become more and more important. Feel free to comment if you want your name added to the list or message me (I'm in DotD Anonymous so you can find me there using guild search)

Format is
KongID (IGN)

- XgodwarX (Mesh)
- Talentedbowler (StormyFuture)
-TheSonny (Will)
-Venansc (Venan)
-OmegaKamidake (Omega)
-Tellurian (Tellurian)
-TheChildInMe (Xina)
-Mpanchal (Icarus)
-Savitarius (Savitar)
-Nightygriez (Nighty)
-BigDoc70 (Krylon)
-Slothe (Slothe)
-SmokeHalo (Smokehalo)
- Furak (Furak)
- TheMissingLink (Link)
-Keba12 (gay)
-RedSun383 (Redsun383)
-Sienmordaunt (Ferylin)
-Ethanolol (Ethanolol)
-DaddyDangles (Hart)

-XgodwarX (Mesh)
-Outtodestroy (Old)
- Talentedbowler (Stormyfuture)
-TheSonny (Will)
-Maricm (MM)
-Specialistol (STL)
-Smokehalo (Smokehalo)
-Mpanchal (Icarus)
-Wpatter6 (Pat)
-Savitarius (Savitar)
-CouchDestroyer (CouchDestroyer)
-Nightygriez (Nighty)
-Valhallan (Poise)
-BigDoc70 (Krylon)
- Zorblak (Zorblak)
- Zizigata (Zizigata)
-Furak (Furak)
-Keba12 (gay)
-Sosumi (Sosumi)
-RedSun383 (RedSun383)
-Ethanolol (Ethanolol)
-FrakkingTryAgain (Nyx)
-DaddyDangles (Hart)

-Outtodestroy (Old)
- TheSonny (Will)
-Xjsman101 (Xjsman101) (Good Luck getting a reply from him)
-Venansc (Venan)
-Specialistol (STL)
-Smokehalo (Smokehalo)
-Watisit (Watisit)
-Mpanchal (Icarus)
-Wpatter6 (Pat)
-Savitarius (Savitar)
-Bubble12345 (Bubble)
-CouchDestroyer (CouchDestroyer)
-Dajoopster (Oodles)
-Nightygriez (Nighty)
-SuperZooi (Superzooi)
-Stingo (Stingo5)
-XQsRawr (Rawr)
-BigDoc70 (Krylon)
-Zizigata (Zizigata)
-TheMissingLink (Link)
-Keba12 (gay)
-RedSun383 (RedSun383)
-Ethanolol (Ethanolol)
-Isoliloquy (Isoliloquy)
-FrakkingTryAgain (Nyx)

Saturday, 29 June 2013

Seriously, 5th Planet Games, stop.

Okay, now first thing is first, I perfectly understand that 5th planet games is a business and they need to get rich. And I also understand the best way of getting rich is to fuck over your play base because everyone is addicted to the game.

But I log in this evening post-patch and see that 5pg have screwed over their player base harder than ever.
Lets compare this new grabbage to the NIP (Nobody cares about paying players! Free players for the win!) (Fuck off free-fag)

NIP = 700pc for the whole NIP set which is basically perfect RNG since you can't get dupes of any items (unless you choose to)

Merfolk Chest = 1.6k PC (This assumes perfect RNG... which everyone knows is impossible) So its at least 1.6k pc.

If we look at the Bazaar, its approximately $70 to purchase the NIP and $200+ to max out the Merfolk chest. That means Approximately 3 NIPs will cost the same as the merfolk chest AT MINIMUM. (Remember, this assumes perfect RNG + Non-sale NIP) If we were to include some crappy RNG system, we would be looking at least 2k PC, this is nearly 4 NIP Sets.

If we look at another recent trend that 5PG have so thankfully bestowed upon us with their money skills, the pit fighter set, we can see a little picture of a would be apocalypse. 1375PC required for the NIP + 3 extra sets of Pit-fighters, that is approximately $200, if maxing out the merfolk chest costs 2k PC that is approximately $250. (Man 5pg are getting fucking greedy) (Lets hope this trend doesn't continue)

Now lets take a look at the stats.
If we max out the new legion with the stuff from the bag, we get a troop with 144/88 stats, now considering you are paying 200pc for the troops and the gen its hardly a brilliant deal..
Now, the armour has a base proc of ~88k, that's weak, so unless there is a massive rate and/or the damage goes up massively too, its nothing special, and since maxing out each armour piece costs 200pc I should fucking hope that they proc like hell. (Again, this assumes perfect luck... which can go fuck itself.) 

Seriously 5PG, what the fuck are you guys thinking? I mean I know these chests are optional and only for the people who want to buy them, but fucking come on, think about your player base when you make this shit.

And its not just the grabbages you guys are getting fucking greedy about, its also the Invasion, there have been many claims of someone cheating, even proof being handed to 5PG (Tech team are looking into it), but if are you guys are gonna do a PvP system at least enforce the rules, there have been several accounts of leapfrogging + stripping + coordinating between many people. It feels as if that 5pg don't care about cheating as long as it brings them money. By making invasion tickets more expensive than colly tickets, it kinda shows that 5pg are becoming more and more greedy. We really feel as if 5pg are losing touch with their customers and are doing all they can to horde in as much as they can, I mean sure we get new zones and stuff, but how much of this new content is actually NEW, not just an old thing wrapped up in a new design? Oh look a new raid... same tiers as cara (more or less) with the same SP crafts, how surprising? (The guy who comes up with these tiers needs to get sacked, like the old foes artist) 

Also what strikes me is, 5pg make changes with their UI without consulting the players who could have better ideas, do 5pg actually play this game?? Seriously, they aren't the ones who spend money on the game, we are.

The removal of Mach from the mobile version (Nobody gives a fuck about the mobile version) of Etchy (and probably the PC version too... if we ever see him again.) Kinda shows that 5th Planet Games are moving away from caring about their players to just hording in the money.

A lot of the math was done by Me and a couple other people (Kong ID: Johnny414 and King_Plundarr) Also a rough estimate of the grabbage was stolen from Xjsman101.

Please note, by reading this you have automatically agreed to everything we have said.

Monday, 24 June 2013


Well, after several months of hard work (no, not really), Mesh and I  (mostly I, Mesh is off screwing with his immigrant rich gf ) decided we need a break from all this shit and deal with this new MMO called Real Life. (you already did this joke.) (I know, this goes to show how much we need this break, move along)

Anyways, there was fun and more fun and some fun, and after that the afterparty fun of funness (You: Wow, that was really bad, you guys really need a break... or get laid). We'll be back ASAP/when we have something fun/interesting to contribute, for laughs, gags or something insightful.

In the meantime, don't be strangers, send some user content, so we can laugh our asses of and maybe we can do a collage of  all the weird shit we've come across and send them We already have few, but we need more to make a decent readworthy post. (Readworthy? Us? What's this? The Twilight zone?)

We may pop in with a post or two, out of boredom or sheer burst of creativity, but don't be so impatient about "regular content" (whatever that means).

On Behalf of the DotDStuff blog team, We, your champions of literally and dotd justice, salute you.

Thursday, 6 June 2013

[Guide] All the helpful shit in one place

Now a lot of people want a lot of different crap, so Me and Revan (Mainly just me, but its his blog so he gets credit) decided to make a blog post and just throw all the helpful crap from across the DotD-lands into it. Now since the blog post would just basically be 4 short links, I thought I'd throw in a few tips and what the fuck not. (Keep Rule #14 in mind... I think its Rule #14, I didn't make them up.) (Yes you did) (Go away Revan, don't you have fan boys to play with?) 

First and foremost - the reason why we all play this:
Jhunz and Wpatter6's offspring - the script that eases your life.

LEON's everything you need ever - including raid ranges, guides, TNL estimators and so on and so off.

EndlessDeath's Log Analyzer - This is a link to the DotD log analyzer, basically what you do is hit a raid a fucktonne times and then copy and paste your damage history into it and BAM it tells you the proc rate of every equip as well as the drop rates.

COL POWER OPTIMIZER - Colly power optimizer, I don't entirely understand this, but what the hell, I'll throw in here anyway.

Anti-lag game - This provides the perfect distraction from when the game is lagging too badly and you just need a short breather.

Proc rate spreadsheet - This spreadsheet contains all the procs and will be updated by some random magical ghost who we do not currently know.

Magic full report - This has a list all of all the magics along with their rate and average damage. Long story short, EotW > GID > IL > KN > ID. Don't bother using anything else, unless asked for.

Achievement List  - This could be useful, or it could be utter crap (It came from Revan, so I assume crap)

Perception Guide - Perception guide, written and checked by us.

Citadel Guide - This guide will have all the information on where to find everything along with the timers and will be updated when needs be. (also by us)

Username Completion script - If you're a kong boy, then you know you have issues with whispering people with "creative" nicknames. This one makes it easy for ya.

Lightshot - a useful printscreening tool so that you can share all the stuff nobody gives a fuck about with the public.

This is the script - You should all have this by now.

Raid ranges done by LEON - Very useful, allows you to see the raid ranges for all the raids at a simple glance.

LEON TNL estimator - Useful TNL estimator, good thing about it is that it takes mach into consideration (But no Gibbo) (Gibbo is for fags)

LEON Guides - Does what it says on the tin.

Now comes the secret 5pg don't want you to know... The mighty, legendary, all powerful, famous, epic, amazing, sexual (Okay, they fucking get it) ADBLOCK PLUS MOTHERFUCKERS!  (Oh, you don't have Chrome? Whose fault is that?) Now I hear you ask "What do I do with this?" Well if you shut the fuck up for one second, I can explain. (See, Mesh, this is why everyone hates you.)
You go to Extentions -> Options -> Add your own filters, then add the following URLs, SEPARATELY.

  1. ||*.swf
  2. ||*.swf
  3. ||*.swf 
(you might not need the || but some adblocks reported issues with not having those, technical mumbo jumbo wizardry, just roll with it)

Scripty screept goodness - No, seriously, GET THIS.

Now come the random pieces of crap that you didn't really need/want to know/hear.

Me and Revan have two separate roles on this blog, he's the blog and creative arts director (Like Cleo, but worse) and I'm the mascot, the face of the game and I'm the one who gets the hate thrown at him, know why? Because I can handle it. (Like Lena, but worse.) Somewhere on my previous statement I have a point, that point is, IF YOU'RE GONNA FANBOY REVAN, KEEP IT THE FUCK OFF MY WALL!

Though I personally don't condone the taking of any life (Kidding, KILL HIM!) Keep your love for Revan away from me, it sickens me.

Okay, so Revan stumbled upon something during his daily stalkings of the Devs (If only I was joking..)

5PG becoming rich as fuck  - Watch the video, it basically tells you how 5th Planet Games are now stinking rich, all thanks to you guys.

Below is an actual Skype conversation between Me and Revan. 

[20:31:46] Mesh: made up of a handful of friends
[20:31:47] Mesh: HAHAHA
[20:31:48] Mesh: *Censored name*
[20:31:53] Revan: xD
[20:31:56] Revan: *Censored name again*?
[20:32:03] Mesh: I reckon he was one of them
[20:32:27] Mesh: "dawn of the dragon" ITS DAWN OF THE DRAGONS! MULTIPLE!
[20:32:37] Revan: xD
[20:32:44] Mesh: whey Robert!
[20:32:44] Revan: kong is shown when the guy searches
[20:32:51] Revan: on his laptop
[20:33:10] Mesh Mukul: WE PAID FOR THEIR SHIT
[20:33:15] Revan: yep
[20:33:22] Mesh: FUCKING WANKERS
[20:33:28] Revan: proof that WRs are useful
[20:34:04] Mesh: Dawn anniversary #3 paid for the lease on that building.
[20:34:10] Revan: yep
[20:34:18] Mesh: For the next 3yrs
[20:34:38] Revan: for the next 10
[20:34:49] Mesh: Oh yeah, so it is on Kong
[20:34:53] Mesh: Fucking noob didn't get the script
[20:35:10] Mesh: Tempted to message him saying "DUDE YOU NEED THE SCRIPT!!!!!111!"
[20:35:27] Revan: hahahahaha
[20:35:28] Revan: HAHAHAHAHAH
[20:35:30] Revan: AHHAHAH
[20:35:31] Revan: AHAHHAHAHAHAHA
[20:35:32] Revan: hahahahahahah
[20:35:46] Mesh Mukul: You see tails playing?
[20:35:52] Mesh Mukul: Doesn't even play on the phone, sly mother fucker.
[20:35:59] Revan: tails? O.o
[20:36:25] Mesh: mobile dev
[20:37:09] Revan: Tails is playing on his laptop
[20:37:12] Revan: and he's soloing a L grune
[20:37:14] Revan: without magics
[20:38:49] Revan: dude
[20:38:53] Revan: the new building is huge
[20:39:04] Mesh: They probably aren't in all of it
[20:39:19] Revan: I wouldn't be surprised if they are
[20:39:21] Revan: WRs man
[20:39:23] Revan: FUCKING WRs
[20:40:14] Mesh: They probably have each office named after immortals

- Mesh (The helpful one who actually bothered to put this together)
- Revan (The one who will probably get all the credit) 

Saturday, 1 June 2013

[Interview] Aleanne

First things first, credit where credit is due.

Kongratulations to Aleanne, (Yes, he's from, in which we use our fucking version of saying Kongrats (See, i did it again, get used to it bitches)
(used to it? Good)
(note: if someone else thought of  "kong rats" as a fitting description for us, they wouldn't far from the truth.)

Aleanne won the "Men of Kruna singing contest". Want to know why? Because he (yeah, HE. what? you thought it's female? HA! Women on the interweebz? You gotta be kidding me) was willing to slut his very very hot girlfriend out. (If she's reading this, change the word slut to display/involve) We (Revan) shall attach a video of the song at the bottom of the blog post (and add a clever remark per usual), that and probably some other (undisclosed footage of) videos. There's this really funny one of his girlfriend on bath salts singing about god knows what. (no, really, only God knows what women think while singing and/or bath salts)

I think there is a moral in Alenene's story - SLUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND OUT!!! (Again, read display/involve) and you could win a bunch of online currency which would surely spice up your sex life. Otherwise you're back to stalking/groping your own girlfriend. (At least that's what Revan did)(Hey, don't judge, nobody tell me I'm not supposed to). So Revan and I decided it would be a great idea (most of our great ideas are actually complete bullshit, see: THIS BLOG) to interview Aleanne.

For the sake of journalistic integrity (god knows we need one), let's pretend Revan and I don't know the details about your personal life, tell us a little bit about yourself.
Well, I died in 1928 and once I meowed at a cat and it meowed back. That has to be the highlight of my legacy so far. On a serious note (D#) my life isn't all that interesting. Performed in 7 European countries on trumpet then came back, thought it was stupid and took up engineering before voice. 

We know that you have a top-notch fancy diploma and that you like to dress in bear suits and educate young girls in the most subtle art of deepthroating singing.Tell us more about your work and why you ARE SO FUCKING TALENTED? (Seriously man, it's like angelic choirs came in your throat, and now you are forever blessed with bestowing your gift to the mortal world, whilst angels orgasm to the joyous melodies that your awe-struck fans cheer to) (Revan got a little carried away, just answer the god damn question) 

Actually is Dolan.

My life since I was young has always been music and, although I started as a Mechanical Engineering student I couldn't keep away from the deep, throbbing, passion that music shoved deep… deep… inside of me. I teach private voice and acting, I consult for numerous theater companies and schools as well as teach musical theater for 6 schools in my area. I sing with our opera company as a chorister and am literally a professional hobbyist. Since I was 17 every dollar I've made has been from whoring my talents out. 
(And girlfriend(s) apparently)

An anonymous source informed us that there is a certain... adult material video (to put it blatantly: PORN) including you and your girlfriend. So is there one? Can you share it us?  Will sue us if we do so?

I don’t know about the suing part of things, but of course I can share! After all, I did share the prize PC with two retards I know. 

Normally at this point, we like to ask, Serpina or Alice, but since you have a girlfriend, who would you much rather have a threesome with - Lena or a rubber dildo? (my vote goes to the rubber dildo, I think it has much more personality)(Note: Revan is being too hard on Lena, no pun intended)
You make things SOOO difficult. Can you ask again later?!
Wait… what’s on the rubber dildo?

(I am, I'm on the end of the rubber dildo, now open wide.)

Now, with the chance the 5pg  seeing this, is there anything you wish to say, shout, whisper to them? (Don't worry, It won't get censored.... much. )
Free CLAUDIA’s FOR EVERYONE. Except DeepWedgy.
Thank you for the many hours of clicking, partial carpal tunnel… and thanks for all the fish. 

What do you think of the blog so far? (Fishing for compliments 101)

I think the devs have put it very nicely ;)….

But I personally think this blog really helps merge the gap between the game, devs, and the active/interested/invested/obsessive/hairy player base. By allowing the interviews, content, and support 5pg does more good than bad. The game, though not explicitly designed for a mature audience, has an adult following with adult minds. (Aside from Revan of course). It shows that 5pg can have a sense of humor while actively being involved with those who care most about the game… the players.

Tl;dr Love the blog, you bastards. 

With such an amazing throat, one has to ask... Can you actually deepthroat? Or is that reserved for the girlfriend? In fact, tell us more about her. We know some stuff about her, but it'd be fun to find out more about the actual prize winner. (Really Aleanne, did you really think anyone would vote for you? HA. BOOBIEEEEES) (I just want to point out, the whole boobs idea was mine.)
She’s pretty…. But dumb. I love her with all my heart… But she’s dumb… When we were talking about the identifying factors of a persons race in the car next to us… she said that her “authenticity was Mexican.” Yes… Authenticity.

She once also told me that I had better bring single dollars to a donut shop because I didn’t want to get stuck with buying $10 in donuts… because, after going there 4-5 times already, supposedly she didn’t think donut shops made change.

She’s pretty…. But dumb.
(Okay we get it, she's great in bed.)

 (This is just a picture of all the girls he's had sex with)
(And only one of them is his girlfriend. Which is what they all think)

And now some few generic questions:
What are your favourite and most hated parts of DotD?
My favorite parts of DotD are… that’s a damn good question. What have I been doing for over a year of my life… What have I DONE?! (I ask myself this every day..)
Most hated: See above. 

Anything you wish to say to your adoring fans?
Keep an eye out for future collaboration between platforms, players, and sexes. 
Another winner (who’s female) and that kind of kills the mystery of it… and I are working with He Who Must Not be Scolded (Darth) on another Kruna diddy.

Thanks again for the support, and I hope there are no more singing contests in the future, :D

Alice with Dildo Fingers so everyone's happy... And I'll take the whole lot

Here are his entries, even though it was one per person, but he didn't give a fuck enough and he just had to win no matter what FOR KONGREGATE  (The stupidest battlecry you will ever hear)

And the actual winner

And what is the prize for spending thousands and thousands of dollars on education and talent?
(Warning, adblock may be preventing you to see this. You should donate money to adblock for that feature, because this abomination is not worth your time.) (And neither is this blog)

See, told you our ideas are bullshit, now you've read this interview and wasted you time. (REJOICE) (Now share this post with everybody you hate!) 
-Revan the Unfunny one.